Surprise! We're Engaged!
by GothTrekkie
Summary: When Spock's fiance leaves him and he doesn't have the heart to tell his mom, he and Doctor McCoy find themsleves in an awkward situation.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:**

**This is my first fic I'm putting up so I hope it doesn't suck too bad. **

**This is all leading to Spock/Bones so just stay tuned! A McKirk kiss in this first chapter but thats all. **

**Also this happens in the TOS universe so Amanda is still alive because I refuse to believe that she is dead! Long live Spock's mom! :D**

Leonard was happy for him, he honestly was. He was very grateful that the green-blooded Vulcan had finally gotten himself a boyfriend. Spock needed someone else to talk science with and more importantly someone else to bug! Leonard was glad to finally get some peace and quiet and he was even gladder when Spock's relationship went to the next level.

"Doctor, Captain," Spock began.

"Spock, call me Jim!" Jim insisted for the umpteenth time.

"Doctor, Jim; Joel and I are getting married. He proposed to me earlier today, over dinner." Spock blushed a delicate shade of green as he held up his hand with the engagement ring.

Big smiles spread across the faces of the other two men. "Congratulations, Spock!" said McCoy.

Jim stood up and gave his first officer and best friend a big hug. "Aw, come 'er! Congratulations, we're happy for you, buddy!" Jim grinned. Spock normally would have tensed at such an invasion of his personal space but after being in a romantic relationship with an emotional human for over a year, he had gotten used to such displays of affection.

"So, when's the big day?" asked McCoy as Jim and Spock sat down on the couch next to him.

"We have not planned the wedding yet. We are hoping to do a traditional Earth ceremony on Vulcan as to please both of us," said Spock.

"Logically," McCoy quipped.

"But first I would like to take Joel back to Vulcan to meet my parents. I wish for them to know their future son-in-law."

"Are you sure your dad is going to approve of you marrying a human?" asked Jim, concerned.

Spock hesitated as if picking his words carefully and then quietly said, "I do not anticipate my father approving of this marriage. He did not wish for me to join Starfleet and he did not nurture my human side as I grew up. And now I am marrying a very human Starfleet officer."

"But your dad married a human! He started the whole damn idea of a Vulcan marrying a human!" argued McCoy. Sometimes that Sarek guy really pissed him off and this was one of those times.

"Indeed. But I suppose everyone is illogical in some aspect," said Spock.

"Wow, Jim, did you hear that? He admitted Vulcan's can be illogical!" said McCoy in false amazement.

Kirk chuckled. "I think Joel's helped him see the light."

"Indeed."

The three men turned around as the door to Spock's quarters opened, letting in a substantially colder blast of air and Spock's fiancé, Doctor Joel Winson. "Hey, guys, Spock tell you our big announcement yet?" asked Joel.

"Yes, I have informed them of our engagement," said Spock, standing to embrace his husband-to-be. They touched their fingers together in a Vulcan kiss as they made their way back over to the couch.

"Spock, honey, let's have a winter wedding! I don't want to pass out from heat during the ceremony," said Joel flashing his charming green-blue eyes at Spock.

"That sounds most logical. However, beloved, winter on Vulcan is fast approaching. Unless you wish to wait another year, we would have to act quickly."

"I'd marry you today!" Joel smiled. "We don't need anything big and fancy with a lot of planning and stressful preparations. All we need is each other and our family and friends." He turned and gestured at Jim and Leonard.

"If you really wish to get married quickly then we shall have to plan a trip to Vulcan as soon as possible so you can meet my parents," said Spock. "Jim, is it at all possible for us to take a detour to Vulcan sometime within the next 31 days?"

"Actually, Spock, we have shore leave in three weeks. We can certainly take it on Vulcan if you'd like. That'd give your parents plenty of time to meet Joel. And perhaps time enough for Sarek to warm up to the idea…" said Jim hopefully.

Spock shook his head. "I'm afraid my father is set in him ways."

Joel looked up into his Vulcan's eyes. "I don't want to cause any problems, sweetie, is there anything I can do to make him like me better?"

"No, it is not your fault for being human. It is Sarek's problem for not accepting that I am half human and therefore will engage in human behavior, such as marrying another human," Spock explained gravely.

"Don't worry so much about it, Joel. Spock and Sarek have been fighting for as long as I've known 'em. It ain't you. So just get married and be happy regardless of what your father-in-law thinks," McCoy advised him.

"Thanks, Leonard."

"No problem, kid. Now I guess Jim and I should be going. It's getting late," the doctor observed.

"Yeah, Bones is right. But thanks for having us over, Spock," said Kirk, stretching as he got off the couch and prepared to leave the warm comfort of the Vulcan's quarters.

"It was my pleasure, Cap—Jim."

"Night, Spock. Night, Joel," said McCoy as he and Jim exited.

"Wow," said Jim as soon as the door closed behind them.

"I know! I can't believe he's getting married! To a human!" exclaimed McCoy.

"He went from not showing any emotions to falling in love! But I knew it was bound to happen someday," bragged Kirk.

"Oh, yeah right."

"No, really! Not even Vulcans are immune to the power of love!"

"He's really fallen in love," Bones sighed. "Our little Vulcan grew up, Jim!"

By then they had reached the door to Doctor McCoy's quarters. "I can't wait for the wedding! It's gonna be so great! I just really hope Sarek doesn't ruin it for him," said Jim.

"Yeah… We'll worry about that when the time comes, Jimmy, but right now I need some sleep and so do you so go to bed."

Jim smiled at Bones's way of saying 'sweet dreams' and pulled him in for a quick platonic kiss on the lips. Jim was flirty and touchy-feely with everyone; it was just his way, so of course he would kiss his best friend! "Goodnight to you too, Bones."

As Jim walked down the corridor and to his own room, he thought about what Bones had said. He was right; they wouldn't be going to Vulcan for three more weeks. No use worrying about something so far away and out of his control.

Little did Jim know just how much things could change in three weeks.

**Like that little ominous last line? More is on the way if you like it! Reviews will make me feel loved! 3 **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:**

**So I know I listed this story as humor, but this chapter is not funny! The funny stuff comes later! **

Later that week, Spock decided it would be logical to call his parents to inform them of his visit and of his engagement to Joel. Though hope was illogical, he hoped that his mother would approve of him even if Sarek did not. He sat down in front of the com in his room and called his home on Vulcan. He was very relieved to see his mother's face appear on the screen.

"Greetings, Mother," he said.

"Spock!" she smiled. "What a pleasant surprise! How are you?"

"I am well. I trust Father and you are also in good health?" he inquired.

"Yes, we're doing great. I do miss you though. I wish you would come home and visit soon. But I know you're busy and your job is very important."

"Actually, Mother, I am calling to inform you that I do wish to come home in two weeks for my shore leave," began Spock. Amanda smiled and started to say something, but Spock cut her off. "And also, I am engaged to be married."

At this, Amanda froze and then choked up with uncontrollable tears of joy. "Oh! Oh, Spock! I—I can't believe this! I'm so happy for you! Oh my! Do we get to meet him?"

"Yes, he shall be accompanying me. I believe you will find him endearing. He is very… human," said Spock with a hint of smile.

Amanda broke down in another joyous fit of tears. "Oh, Spock! I'm so proud of you. I'm sure he's wonderful and I can't wait to meet him. Forgive me for intruding, but where are you going to have the wedding?"

"We were planning to have it on Vulcan."

"Aw, well I for one like him already," smiled Amanda. "If there's anything you need help with wedding wise you just give me a call! I've always wanted to help plan a beautiful wedding."

"Thank you, Mother. It is much appreciated. Now I must go meet my fiancé for dinner," Spock informed her, glancing at the clock.

"Oh, but of course! Thank you for calling, Spock. I look forward to seeing you two!"

"We look forward to it too, Mother. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Spock. I love you."

"I… love you too, Mother."

* * *

><p>Spock and Joel were kept very busy over the next two weeks, making a guest list, picking out cake flavors, and choosing which flowers best matched their table cloths. The rest of the Enterprise crew was also kept fairly busy but managed to fight off the Klingons without losing too many redshirts. Before they knew it, they had set course for Vulcan and would arrive the next morning.<p>

Leonard had had a long day and had just gotten into bed and turned out his lights when his door buzzed. He grumbled and rolled over, gruffly calling out, "Who is it?"

"Spock." Leonard jolted out of bed. He could tell from the tiny tremor of emotion in the Vulcan's voice that something was very wrong.

"Come in!" he called. The door opened and Spock quickly stepped inside, turning on the lights. Though Spock appeared as emotionless as usual, Leonard could tell he was unsettled. The doctor started running through all the reasons why an upset Vulcan would be knocking at his door at midnight; they we're all very bad. "What's wrong Spock?"

"Joel. He… called off our wedding."

"What? Why?"

"He withdrew his engagement. He said he could not marry an emotionless alien such as myself," Spock said in a pained whisper.

Bones sat Spock down on the side of his bed and took a seat next to him. "What happened? We're you fighting before?"

"Negative. He simply just said it. 'Out of the blue' as you might say."

"That cold heartless son-of-a-bitch!" Bones shouted. "I knew he was gonna do this! Damnit, I just knew that guy was no good! Who the hell does he think he is to lead you on like that!" Bones stopped his rant and looked into Spock's deep brown eyes and saw that they were full of nothing but pain. He realized his friend didn't need to hear his anger; he needed comforting.

Bones sighed. "God, I'm so sorry, Spock. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Negative, Doctor. There does not appear to be anything left to say," said Spock.

Bones wrapped his arms around Spock and held him comfortingly. "Aw, darlin', it's okay. You're okay. You don't have to hide your emotions from me. Don't pretend like he didn't hurt you. You're perfectly aloud to be upset."

As Spock carefully let down his emotional shields, a single tear rolled silently down his cheek and Leonard's heart broke at the sight of it. "Oh, honey, just let it all out. It's okay," Bones gently coaxed.

Spock began to shudder as his tears became uncontrollable. "I—I don't know how I'm going to be able to tell my mother," he sobbed into Leonard's shoulder. "When I told her that I was engaged she looked so… happy. Happier than I can ever recall seeing her. I don't want to hurt her…"

Leonard soothingly rubbed Spock's back as he wept. "Oh, Spock. I'm so, so sorry."

In the morning, Leonard awoke laying sideways on the bed, feet still hanging off the side, and Vulcan still cuddled up next to him with green-flushed, tear-stained, cheeks. He carefully pried himself away from Spock and took a look at the time. Time to go to work. As he did not have the heart to wake him, Leonard pressed a light kiss into the sleeping man's forehead, placed a blanket over him, and went to go tell Jim the bad news.

**Reviews, pretty pretty please? It'll make my day! :) **


	3. Chapter 3

The planet Vulcan took up almost the entire view screen as Captain James T. Kirk stepped onto the bridge that morning. He took a seat in his chair and addressed no one in particular. "I see we've arrived at Vulcan."

"Yes, sir, right on schedule," said Chekov.

"Excellent." The captain was contemplating whether or not to change into shorts before they beamed down, when the turbolift doors opened behind him and he naturally turned around to see who it was, expecting Spock.

He was glad to see his other best friend, but not so glad to see the grave look on his face. "Jim, I need to talk to you," said the doctor.

Jim got out of his seat and went over to talk quietly with Leonard. "What is it, Bones? Is something wrong with Spock? He's two minutes late now and he's never late."

"Yeah, it's Spock."

"Is he okay?" Jim suddenly became panicked.

"No, well yes… but no." McCoy decided to be more straight-forward as Jim's confusion and concern deepened. "Joel broke up with him."

"He what?" Kirk practically yelled, causing everyone on the bridge to stare at them.

"Let's take this in private," said McCoy. The crew was fully aware of Spock and Joel's relationship, but Leonard didn't know if Spock wanted them to find out about the break-up just yet. There would be rumors and gossip and Spock sure as hell didn't need to have to deal with that.

McCoy took Jim by the arm and led him into the turbolift and promptly pushed the stop button when the doors shut.

"Is he okay? How's he taking it?" asked the captain.

"Not good, Jim. I've never seen a Vulcan cry like that. He came to my quarters right after it happened and he was a complete emotional wreck," McCoy explained, running a hand through his own hair and sighing from stress and worry.

"He was crying? Oh God! Where is he?" asked Jim.

"He's still in my bed," said McCoy.

Jim raised an eyebrow with confused concern. "You slept with each other?"

"We slept _next to _each other."

"You sure?" Jim teased.

The doctor growled. "Damnit, Jim, yes I'm sure!"

Jim chuckled slightly and pressed the start button on the turbolift. When the doors opened they were in the corridor outside the mess hall. Jim proceeded to waltz inside, Bones following close behind.

"Damnit, Jim, this isn't time for eggs and bacon! We need to go help Spock! And give that no-good-son-of-a-bitch Joel a piece of my mind!"

"Calm down, Bones, this'll only take a second. I know after a hard break-up all I want is a nice hot plate of pancakes!" said Jim, walking up to the pancake replicator only to find that it was out of order. He growled and grabbed his communicator. "Scotty!" he called the engineer.

"What is it, Cap'n?" came Scotty's voice over the communicator.

"The pancake replicator is broken!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I have more important things to fix right now," he replied.

"Like what?" Jim all but snapped at him.

"Well, for one, the engines."

Jim sighed. Scotty was right. The engines were more important than pancakes, but not by much. "Alright. Just fix it when you get the chance. Kirk out."

"Can we please just go see Spock? He's probably awake by now," said McCoy.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Let's go."

The two walked down the hallway to McCoy's quarters and lightly tapped on the door to see if Spock was awake. When they got no reply, they entered. Spock was exactly where Leonard had left him, curled under the blanket, sleeping sideways on the bed.

Jim's heart broke when he saw how miserable his usually emotionless first officer looked, even in his sleep. Leonard strode over to Spock and gently shook him awake. "Spock, darlin'?"

"Doctor," said Spock as he woke up and looked about the room. "Jim," he acknowledged.

"Hey, Spock," said Jim. "Can I sit next to you?"

"Of course," said Spock as Jim sat down on his right side and McCoy on his left. Turning to the doctor, he said, "I must apologize for my emotional outburst last night."

McCoy shook his head. "Don't ever apologize for crying."

"Then I apologize for being a burden. I did not intend to impose."

"Spock, you're never a burden. Come to me whenever you need me; I'll be glad to take care of you," he smiled.

"Thank you, Doctor."

"You gonna be okay, Spock?" asked Jim.

"I am still very troubled by the sudden end of my relationship. But I believe I will be able to function properly."

"Well, I was gonna bring you some pancakes, but the replicator was broken so I just got you this instead," said Jim, pulling a stick of gum out of his pocket and handing it to Spock.

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow as he accepted Jim's gift. "…Thank you, Jim."

"Any time, Spock."

"Have you decided what you're going to do about your mom?" McCoy questioned gently.

Spock seemed to take on a depressed aura at the mention of the situation. "The only logical course of action is to tell her that Joel and I are no longer engaged."

McCoy sighed defeatedly. "Well, it's best to just get these things over with, Spock."

"It would seem that you are right, Doctor," said Spock as he got up off the bed and prepared to face his parents on the planet below.

The intense heat of the Vulcan desert hit Kirk and McCoy as soon as they materialized outside of Spock's house. McCoy squinted in the glaring sun and looked up at Spock for any signs of discomfort. He showed none. He could certainly hide his emotions when he wanted to.

"I think I should've worn shorts," Jim commented.

"Damn straight," McCoy muttered.

"I believe you will find the temperature inside more accommodating," said Spock, leading them in.

Amanda and Sarek were waiting for them inside. "Spock!" smiled Amanda, for once she did not resist the urge to hug her son. Spock stiffly returned the hug, not wanting to let his emotions get the best of him.

"Ambassador Sarek," Jim greeted Spock's father formally.

"James," he acknowledged.

"Greetings, Ambassador. I'm Doctor Leonard McCoy," he introduced himself.

"Greetings, Doctor, and welcome to Vulcan."

Amanda let go of her son and he went to go stand with his friends. "Mother, I believe you have met Captain James Kirk," he introduced.

"Yes, hello, James!"

Jim nodded a hello at her.

"And this is Doctor Leonard McCoy," Spock absent mindedly placed his hand on the doctor's shoulder as he introduced him.

Amanda grinned ear to ear. "Is he your fiancé, Spock?"

Jim coughed in surprise and McCoy and Spock froze. McCoy looked up into Spock's beautiful dark eyes and saw the pain and anxiety surfacing at the thought of what he was going to have to tell his mother. And upon seeing the joy in Amanda's eyes and the hurt in Spock's, Leonard McCoy made a very impulsive, illogical, irrational, human decision. "Yes," he said. "I am."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes! **

**I know that was an epic cliff hanger so I hope this chapter does not disappoint! **

**Thanks for all the great reviews! Keep 'em coming lol! :)**

James T. Kirk was very glad that Sarek and Amanda had not offered him anything to drink yet, because if they had he would have spit it out. He put a hand on the back of the couch he was standing next to in order to prevent himself from falling over as he tried to stop choking and coughing from shock.

Spock looked at McCoy with an eyebrow raised to the ceiling and a look of severe confusion. McCoy shot the both of them with a 'Just go with it' glare. As tears of happiness formed in Amanda's eyes, Spock decided that there was some logic in Leonard's statement. However, since Vulcans do not lie, Spock kept his mouth shut, reasoning that it was not lying if he simply never said the truth.

"So good to finally meet you, Leonard," Amanda smiled as she pulled him into a hug.

"Nice to meet you, too, ma'am," he replied.

Recovering from his coughing fit, Jim said, "Uh, sorry. Must just be the dry Vulcan air or something."

"Excuse me, Mother, Father, Jim; I wish to talk to Leonard in private," said Spock, grabbing the doctor by the sleeve and leading him around the corner to his bedroom.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Leonard groaned and whispered, "Look! I'm sorry, Spock! It was rash and stupid and it just came out! I was just trying to make things easier on your mom and therefore you!"

"I understand, Doctor. I have known you long enough to know that you often act impulsively and make your decisions based upon emotions rather than logic. We are, however, not actually engaged. What do you propose we tell my mother when we never get married?" questioned Spock.

"Well… how about this? We just pretend to be engaged for the week that we're here and then later you tell her that it just didn't work out and we had a mutual break-up and we're still friends," suggested McCoy.

"I do not see how that situation is any different from my current situation with Joel."

McCoy shivered in disgust at the mention of Spock's scumbag ex-fiancé. "It's totally different! Amanda is a human and, not to mention, your mother who obviously loves you very much. If she knew your break-up was a bad one then she would feel your pain and be heartbroken! But if she thought it was amicable and mutual she wouldn't be so sad. Maybe just a little disappointed. It's actually quite logical if I do say so myself," he explained.

The doctor carefully studied Spock as he contemplated the idea. "While I cannot refute the logic of your proposal, it is a lie and Vulcan's do not lie."

"Alright, Vulcan's don't lie. But half-human's sure as hell can!" said McCoy.

Spock seemed to ponder the situation for a few more seconds before nodding his head. "I agree. We shall pretend to be engaged for the remainder of our time on Vulcan."

McCoy couldn't help but smile. "Good. But just one thing."

"What would that be, Doctor?"

"If you want this to be believable, you're going to have to call me Leonard."

"Very well then, Leonard. Is there anything else I must do to make this more believable?" wondered Spock.

Leonard linked arms with his new fake- fiancé and started to lead them back to the living room. "Just play along."

* * *

><p>When they rejoined the others, Jim was helping to set the table while Amanda was bringing food out of the kitchen. She had made Vulcan dishes that Spock had enjoyed in his childhood, as well as some traditional Earth cuisine for Spock's human captain and fiancé.<p>

"Is everything alright?" she asked as she set a very appetizing looking pizza on the table and added, "Dinner's ready."

"Yes, Mother, we are well," Spock replied, moving to stand behind the seat he intended to sit down in, but not before Leonard pulled the chair out for him.

"May I get your chair for you, my dear?" he asked like a true southern gentleman.

"Thank you, Leonard," said Spock as he sat down.

Jim shot them a confused little grin from across the table. "Shut up," Leonard grumbled at him.

The meal Amanda had prepared was unsurprisingly delicious and the dinner table talk was easy conversation, until Leonard and Spock were hit with a question they were not prepared for.

"So," said Amanda. "How did you two meet?"

Leonard and Spock shared a panicked glance before Spock finally said, "It is a truly captivating tale which Leonard tells best."

McCoy would have to get back at him for that later. "Actually," he said craftily, "it is a very interesting and exciting story that I believe Jim tells the best."

"What? Me?" exclaimed Jim.

"Yes, you," said McCoy. "Isn't that right, Spock, honey?"

Spock nodded and played along. "Affirmative."

All four of them looked expectantly at Jim. Luckily, Jim was known for thinking on his feet. "Well, um…" Jim thought he might as well take out his revenge on them for making him think of the story. "They first met during this wild crazy party back at the academy. Everyone was super drunk and-"

McCoy and Spock could tell where this was going and quickly cut Jim off. "On second thought I think I should tell it!" said the doctor quickly. "We were um, leaving the party because…"

"We were very diligent students and had decided we would be better off studying than partying," Spock intervened.

"So we, um, went down to the library and studied together…" Leonard concluded lamely.

"Affirmative," Spock concurred.

Sarek's eyebrow went up and Amanda looked confused, perhaps wondering where the captivating, interesting, and exciting part was. Jim tried to hold back laughter.

The rest of the small talk for that night was a bit more awkward than before, especially when McCoy practically jumped out of his seat as he felt Spock's foot brush up against him under the table. "What the hell are you doing?" he hissed.

Spock almost smiled as he said, "I am simply playing along, Leonard."

**Like it? I wasn't planning on writing the whole "How did you meet?" conversation, it just kinda happened. So I hope it was okay. **

**Please review!**

**Oh and everyone who wants to see Joel get thrown out the airlock... don't worry, he gets what he deserves ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes:**

**Here's a cute little chapter for you, my readers!**

**Love you all! Those who review are doubly loved!**

Later that night, after the hot Vulcan sun had set and Sarek and Amanda had gone off to bed (it doesn't matter what planet they're from; old people always go to bed early), Jim pulled his two best friends aside for a much needed talk.

"So," he began, "You, um, mind telling me why you're pretending to be engaged?"

"It's my fault, Jim, we didn't plan it, he had no part in it. When I saw how disappointed Amanda was gonna be I… I just couldn't take it," explained Bones.

"We plan to stage an amicable break-up once we leave Vulcan," Spock finished.

"I see… But what are you gonna do when people expect you to be all lovey?" Jim asked.

"I am a Vulcan. No one will expect me to be 'all lovey'," reasoned Spock.

"Alright, if you two think you can pull this off that's fine with me!" said Jim skeptically.

"We will pull this off! There's no way it can't work!" said the doctor.

"On the contrary, Doctor, there are many things that could go wrong," Spock began.

"Save your breath, Spock. I don't wanna hear 'em. I just want to go to bed," grumbled McCoy, turning towards the Vulcan's bedroom.

"Wait," chuckled Jim. "Are you two gonna sleep with each other?"

Bones growled and turned back on his heel. "_Next to_!" he stressed once again.

"The doctor and I are quite comfortable sharing a bed. I fail to see the humor in this situation, Jim," stated Spock.

"We are engaged after all," said Bones, voice thick with his usual sarcasm. "Come on, honey, let's go to bed."

"Goodnight," Jim called to them, a very amused smile coming over his face.

* * *

><p>After stripping down to an undershirt and boxers, Bones flopped down on the right side of the bed, above the sheets. It was too damn hot to sleep on this planet! Spock stepped into the room in similar attire and looked blankly at the man lying on his bed.<p>

"Spock, how do you sleep like this?" Bones complained.

"Like how, Doctor?"

"Leonard," he corrected.

"Like how, Leonard?"

"When it's so God damn hot! I'm a doctor not a cactus!"

Spock raised his eyebrow and wondered how Doctor McCoy could be mistaken for a prickly Terran plant. "I sleep in warm temperatures the same way I sleep in any other temperatures. If you require a lesson on how to sleep, I believe you should seek help from a somnologist."

"I don't need a damn doctor, I'm a doctor!" he grumbled. "Just shut up and let me sleep." Leonard closed his eyes and tried counting tribbles but he soon became aware of a presence standing over him. He opened his eyes. "Yes, Spock?"

"Leonard?"

"Ya?"

"That is my side of the bed."

Bones sighed and grumbled to himself as he rolled over to the left side of the bed and allowed Spock to take his place.

"Thank you. Goodnight, Leonard." All Spock could gather from the doctor's mumbled response was something along the lines of 'damn pointy eared hobgoblin.'

* * *

><p>The temperature in the room gradually dropped and Leonard finally drifted off to sleep until he was rudely awakened in the middle of the night by someone kicking him in the leg with considerable force. "Ow! Damnit, Spock!" He shortly realized that his fake-fiancé was whimpering and thrashing in his sleep in the midst of what must have been a terrible nightmare. "Spock!" he shook him. "Wake up! It's just a dream!"<p>

The half Vulcan awoke with a start and tried desperately to control his rapid breathing, pounding heartbeat, and raging emotions. "Thank you, Leonard," he said, partially regaining his composure.

"You okay, hun?"

"Yes. It was only a dream. I require no further comforting," he said stiffly as he pulled away from Leonard's hand on his arm.

"The hell you don't. Now tell me what happened."

Spock propped himself up against the headboard, clasped hands in his lap and took a deep breath. "The main subject of the dream was Joel."

McCoy frowned.

"We were in a relationship and he insisted upon leaving me. I tried to stop him but he would not listen. It was almost as if I was not speaking at all. When I attempted to pursue him, I found myself rendered immobile. That is when you woke me."

"I'm sorry, Spock. Post break-up dreams can be a bitch. I really wish the whole thing with Joel hadn't happened," McCoy consoled.

"It is regrettable but it cannot be changed so it is illogical to wish that it had not happened. However, I agree. Now I should like to attempt to go back to sleep," he replied.

"Goodnight, darlin'. Try not to have any more nightmares."

Spock was going to point out that Leonard's request was illogical as he could not control the content of his dreams, but he was interrupted by soft lips briefly kissing his cheek. His stomach churned; no one had kissed him since Joel. Or at least, not to his knowledge.

* * *

><p>When Spock awoke to the blazing Vulcan sun streaming into the bedroom window, he looked over at Leonard to find that the human had wrapped his arms around his waist and had his face nuzzled into his neck. Spock carefully pried his fake-fiancé off of him and got out of bed. Not only was the doctor clingy when he was asleep, but he also snored quite loudly.<p>

The shift in weight on the bed, as well as being removed from Spock's warm body, caused Leonard to wake up. "Mornin' already?" he grumbled, southern accent thick from sleep.

"Yes. I hope you had a satisfactory amount of rest, for my mother will certainly have made plans for us today," said Spock.

As if on cue, there came on knock on the door accompanied by Amanda's voice. "Can I come in?"

"You may enter," Spock called.

The door opened and Spock's mom stepped in, wearing an excited yet nervous smile on her face. "I know it's rather early for this, in more ways than one," she began. "But I've been up all night thinking about this and it seems like a wonderful and logical idea. I think you two should get married this week."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Notes:**

**Okay so this chapter is twice as long as the others and I considered making it into two but it needed to be all together. I want to keep the plot moving! **

**Reviews are greatly appreciated and will motivate me to finish this!**

Both men were dead quiet for a second. Amanda began to fidget awkwardly so Leonard spoke up first. "This week?"

"Yes. It seemed only logical. You are already here and you are going to get married eventually. Why not do it now?" she asked.

"Mother, that does not seem to be a sufficient amount of time to plan such an event," said Spock quickly. Relief washed over Leonard; Spock would get them out of this.

"Don't you worry about it, Spock. I'll take care of anything. I just… can't wait to see my baby get married. It's just that so many things can happen out in space. You two have very dangerous jobs and I can't even stand to think of how terrible it would be if one of you got killed before the wedding. I'm sorry for sounding so pessimistic. But I worry about you every day, Spock. And now I'm going to have a son-in-law to worry about too. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I consider you family already, Leonard. And I want you to be family, right now."

After the emotional speech from Amanda, Leonard's relief turned to doubt. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Amanda tried to convince them some more. "I can make you all the clothes you need for the ceremony and we can use the roses from my garden. I'll bake a cake and decorate. You won't have to worry about a thing. It'll be perfect."

"I see no… logical reason why we should not be wed this week," said the Vulcan, somewhat defeatedly.

"Uh, Amanda, can Spock and I have a second to talk it over? This is a big decision," said Leonard.

"Oh, yes, of course," she said, quickly leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

"What are we going to do?" asked the doctor.

"Our options seem very limited at this point. The most obvious one is to get married and later file for an amicable divorce."

"Or we could just tell her the truth," Leonard put forward timidly, but he could tell by the look in Spock's eyes that that was not an option.

"That would deeply hurt her to know that our relationship is a lie. Also she would have to find out about my break-up with Joel in order to explain ourselves."

"Yeah, you're right. We can't do that to her. I guess divorce is always an option. But won't she find that a little hard to believe?"

"On the contrary, 56.7 percent of all Terran human marriages end in divorce. It is fortunate that the ceremony will be Terran, for Vulcan marriages are not as easily broken," pointed out Spock.

"If the marriage isn't real than divorce isn't that hard, is it? You and Jim have been accidentally married in some weird alien ritual before, haven't you?"

"Affirmative. The divorce process was easy and unemotional. Unlike your previous experience with divorce."

"Damnit don't remind me," Leonard grumbled. "I guess we'll have to go through with this then."

"It is the most logical choice."

"The things I do for you and your mom," Leonard muttered as he got out of bed to get dressed.

"So?" Amanda was anxiously waiting for them when they entered the living room.

"We have found your suggestion most logical. We shall go through with the wedding this week," Spock announced.

Jim spat out his coffee. "What?"

"Amanda suggested we get married this week, Jim. So naturally, we agreed it was a great idea. Don't you think so?" asked McCoy.

"Um yeah, yeah. I just wasn't expecting it to be this soon," said Jim, quickly catching on.

"Yeah, us neither," he replied.

"Well congratulations, you two! This wedding is going to be amazing!" Jim smiled. McCoy shot him a subtle glare, causing him to shut up and drink his coffee.

"Well, we have a lot to do before the wedding! First things first, let's get you two some tuxes!"

Amanda was a surprisingly good tailor in her free time and was able to easily make Leonard and Spock traditional Terran tuxedos for their fast approaching wedding. They stood patiently in her workshop while she pinned the fabric up to them and took careful measurements. After his tux was nearly completed, Spock watched his mother carefully poke pins into the fabric his future husband was wearing. He had to admit, the doctor looked very handsome in a tuxedo.

"Oh, Leonard, you're going to look so beautiful in this!" Amanda beamed.

"Thank you, you're doing a mighty fine job at making these," he replied.

She blushed. "Oh, Spock! He's such a gentleman!"

"Yeah, he sure is lucky to have me. Isn't that right, sweetheart?" asked Leonard.

Spock couldn't help but blush a little bit. "Yes, _dear_."

The doctor slightly chucked at that but was quickly interrupted by begging jabbed in the wrist by one of Amanda's pins. "Ouch!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she quickly apologized, removing the pin.

"Nah, it's okay. Don't worry about it," he quickly dismissed it, but Spock had already made his way over to his side.

"May I see?" he asked.

McCoy chuckled. "It's just a pin prick, Spock! What are you gonna do? Kiss it better?" he asked, voice full of sarcasm. But much to his surprise, the half Vulcan did just that. He pushed Leonard's sleeve off his wrist, found the little dot of red human blood that the pin had left, brought his wrist up to his lips, and briefly kissed it. McCoy looked at him with shock and confusion. He hadn't expected something like that from Spock, but then again, he had snuggled with the man all last night. "Um, thanks, I guess."

"You are welcome."

Amanda was surprised she didn't faint from the sweetness of it all. "Alright now, let's get these tuxes finished up so we can pick out a cake."

The first cake Amanda baked for them was a carrot cake that neither Spock nor Leonard particularly liked so Leonard suggested she make a classic chocolate cake. It looked beautiful when Amanda set it down in front of them, and it tasted even better.

"Oh my God! This is the best chocolate cake I've ever had!" McCoy exclaimed. "Spock, you've got to try it!"

"Leonard, I believe you are aware of the effects chocolate has on Vulcans," he replied.

"So what? I'm not asking you to eat the whole thing! Just try a bite!"

"I do not wish to be under the influence of chocolate at this time. I will take your word for it."

"Oh come on! Live a little!" urged McCoy, grabbing a fist-full of cake and attempting to shove it into Spock's mouth. But his Vulcan reflexes were too quick for the old country doctor and he moved out of the way. "Oh, so that's how you wanna do this?" A devious grin coming over McCoy's expression.

When Jim came into the room he found his best friend chasing his other best friend around the room with a fist-full of chocolate cake and screaming, "Get back here you green blooded hobgoblin!"

"Are they always like this?" Amanda asked Jim.

"Yeah, pretty much."

* * *

><p>Standing in front of the mirror in their completed tuxedos two days before the wedding, Leonard McCoy thought he and Spock looked very spiffy indeed. "You look gorgeous, Spock," he said.<p>

"You also look very aesthetically appealing, Leonard."

He couldn't help but blush at that. He was going to make some comment on how close the wedding day was when Ambassador Sarek walked into the room. "Spock, may I have a word with you?" he asked in emotionless monotone.

"Yes, Father. Please, excuse me, Leonard," said Spock as he left.

"Alright, come back soon," he said as the Vulcans left the room. He stood in front of the mirror for a good five minutes, grinning like a fool in love, day dreaming of his wedding and thinking about how handsome Spock looked in his tuxedo.

That's when he suddenly realized what he was doing and his heart sank. "This isn't a real wedding," he frowned to himself. "I can't do this!" he desperately hissed at the man in the mirror. "I can't fake marry Spock! This isn't real, this is all a lie! He probably doesn't even like me! Oh what the hell was I thinking! And Sarek! He's not going to approve of this! That's probably what they're talking about right now! Oh God I can't do this!"

He buried his face in his hands and tried to keep himself from crying. He suddenly felt sick. Without another thought he walked out of the room, out of Spock's house, and then started running.

Back in the house, Spock stood emotionless as his father expressed his disapproval. "Son, you were raised a Vulcan. You have been continually shunning your Vulcan upbringing, first by joining Starfleet and now by marrying this illogical human! Are you ashamed of your heritage?"

"No, Father. I am honored to be Vulcan but I am also proud to be human. I made a good career for myself in Starfleet and I am very content with my job and my relationship. I do not wish to marry a Vulcan."

"Why not?"

Raising his voice slightly, Spock retorted, "Maybe it has not occurred to you that I find humans and their illogical emotions very endearing. Perhaps you have not considered that humans make far more passionate lovers, perhaps you have not considered that I love Leonard because he is so perfectly human and possibly you have forgotten that you married an illogical, emotional human and that as a result of said marriage I am half human!"

Needless to say, Sarek was quite shocked by his son's outburst of anger. "It is true that I have married a human, Spock. But it is because I love her. You have not even formed a mental bond with Leonard."

"This is true. But I do love him and we will be bonded."

"Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt, but have you seen Bones, I can't find him anywhere," said Jim, popping into the room.

All of Spock's anger instantly turned to panic. "I last saw him in my bedroom."

"Wasn't there. I even tried calling him but he didn't take his communicator wherever he went."

"I must go find him!" said Spock, already heading towards the front door.

"We are not done talking, son," Sarek tried to stop him.

"Yes, we are. Leonard may be in trouble and I will stop at nothing to help him. I do not care what you say, Father, I'm in love with him." That shut Sarek up.

"You want me to come with you, Spock?" asked Jim.

"No, I must do this on my own." And with that, he was out the door, grateful for Leonard's footprints in the Vulcan sand.

* * *

><p>Propped up against a rock in the dry, hot, quiet, desert just outside of town, Leonard McCoy brought his knees up to his chest, buried his face in his hands, and wept. What had he been thinking? He couldn't marry and divorce Spock. He just couldn't do that. He was so engrossed in his despair and his sobbing that he didn't notice when a familiar Vulcan crouched down next to him. "Leonard? Are you alright?"<p>

Through tearful red eyes he looked up. "Spock!" he sobbed. "I can't do it!"

"Cannot do what?"

"Pretend to marry you!"

"I understand it is a very complicated and difficult lie, but we will get through it," Spock tried to assure him.

"No, that's not it! I can't fake marry you because I love you!" he admitted.

"I know," said the Vulcan quietly.

"You don't understand. I don't love you just as a friend, Spock! I'm_ in _love with you! I dream about you every night and think about you every day!"

"Leonard." Spock was ignored.

"You're so beautiful and you're just so God damn perfect! You're a green blooded pointy eared Vulcan but it's so amazing when you show emotions and it just breaks my heart to see you hurt!"

"Leonard?"

"That asshole Joel made the biggest fucking mistake of his life by dumping you! If I was lucky enough to have you I would never let you go! I would never hurt you like that! He doesn't know what he's missing! I would treat you right!"

"Leonard?"

"And these past few days I've gotten to see what it's like to be your fiancé and life has never been so… perfect! What I wouldn't give to be able to wake up to you every morning and comfort you when you have a bad dream and pick out wedding cake and kiss you and hold you!" Here Leonard began to cry all over again.

Spock grabbed the crying man's hand and pressed their fingers together but McCoy was oblivious to the Vulcan kisses being bestowed upon him. "Leonard?"

"But what I am thinking? I know you can't possibly feel the same way. I mean, what would a perfect wonderful guy like you want to do with a grumpy old country doctor like me?"

Desperate to stop the self-destructive flow of words from the human's mouth, Spock grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a very human kiss on the lips. Leonard was stunned for a few seconds and just sat there, letting himself be passionately kissed by the love of his life. Soon, he comprehended what was happening and deeply returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Spock's neck and leaning into him. As their tongues met, Spock moved his hands to the meld-points on Leonard's face and the insecure doctor felt all of his emotions and desires being reciprocated.

As they toppled over into the sand, Spock on the bottom, they separated and breathed heavily. "I love you too, Leonard," Spock managed between breaths.

Leonard wanted to say something sweet or romantic, but he was overcome by his desperate need to get out of the hot Vulcan sun. "God, it's really hot out here. And it's not just you," Leonard commented.

Spock nodded. "It is above tolerable temperature for humans." He stood and scooped Leonard up into his arms to carry him. "Let's get you home."

The doctor wrapped his arms around the Vulcan's neck and rested his head against his shoulder. "Thanks, sweetheart."


	7. Chapter 7

As Spock walked into the house, still carrying Leonard, Jim and Amanda let out deep breaths of relief while Sarek just stood in the background, carefully observing the three and a half humans.

"Spock! Leonard!" cried Amanda happily.

"I told you they'd be okay," said Jim, though it was obvious by the tremor in his voice that he had also been very worried. "You okay, Bones? You should know not to run off into the Vulcan desert like that! What were you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Jim. I wasn't thinking." Spock set Leonard down and quickly left to get him a drink of water.

"Obviously. But what's going on?" pressed the captain.

Spock re-entered the room and handed Leonard a bottle of water and then stood very close to him as he gratefully drank it.

Putting the water down, McCoy looked at the confused and expectant faces waiting for his answer. "Amanda, Ambassador Sarek; there's something Spock and I need to tell you," he began nervously. "We aren't engaged. We never have been."

He watched as Amanda's jaw dropped to the floor and Sarek's eyebrows shot to the ceiling. "Explain yourself, son. Why have you lied?"

"When I initially told Mother that I was engaged to a human man, I was not lying. His name is Doctor Joel Winson. We had been dating for 1.7429 years and had decided to get married. However, the night before we came to Vulcan, he withdrew his engagement without warning or sensible reason. This left me emotionally vulnerable and conflicted. Mother, I did not wish to hurt or disappoint you by telling you that my relationship had ended badly. Leonard knew of my conflict and took it upon himself to pretend to be my fiancé in an attempt to neutralize the situation," Spock explained. The look of hurt on Amanda's face was plain and unguarded. Sarek, however, just looked curious.

"It's all my fault, really. He didn't think of this, I did. I just flat out said I was his fiancé when you asked," Leonard added.

"It is not 'all you fault' Leonard. Spock could have refused to go along with your lie," pointed out Sarek.

"I did not want to hurt Mother. It seemed logical."

"Spock, Leonard, I don't know what to say…" began Amanda. "I am quite… touched that you would go through all of that just to avoid hurting me. But you've ended up hurting me anyways. As well as yourselves it seems. Leonard, you must be a very good friend in order to do something like this. You did a beautiful job at acting. I never sensed that you were not actually in love…" She recalled all the times they had acted like a real couple. Leonard had pulled out Spock's chair for him. Spock had kissed his pin prick. And Leonard had chased him around the house with cake.

At that, Spock and Leonard blushed slightly. "We simply are not engaged. I never stated that we are not in love," Spock murmured. Jim furrowed his brow in confusion but a soft smile crept onto his face. He had been beginning to suspect as much.

"I um, ran off like that because I love Spock too much to go through with a fake marriage," Leonard admitted.

"Father, although our engagement may have been a lie, everything I said to you before I left is true. I am in love with Leonard as is he with me. We made our feelings known to each other 11.53 minutes ago when I found him. And because of these recent admissions, there is something illogical and impulsive I would like to do."

Here, the half Vulcan gently grabbed Leonard's left hand and got down on one knee in front of him. All three humans and one Vulcan were in disbelief at what was unfolding before them. "Leonard McCoy. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met. You have always been there for me and I know you will never leave me or hurt me."

After a slight pause, Spock looked up intently at Jim who jumped at the realization. "Oh! Um hold on just a second!" he said. Somewhat frantically looking around, Jim finally grabbed the bottle of water and pulled the little plastic ring off of the top, handing it to Spock. "There ya go! …Sorry, Bones."

Bones chuckled, happy tears already threatening to fall from his beautifully blue eyes. Spock looked back up at him. "Leonard, I cannot imagine my life without you. You are perfect for me in every way and even though we never dated, I still know this is right. Will you do me the great honor of marrying me?"

The doctor closed his eyes and the tears streamed down his face while his smile hurt his jaw. "God, yes! Yes, Spock! I'll marry you, you pointy eared hobgoblin!" he cried. Spock allowed himself a smile as he slipped the plastic ring onto his new fiancé's finger.

"Wow, Bones. I don't think 'hobgoblin' has ever been used in a positive reply to a proposal before," bantered Jim.

"Shut up, Jim," he said good-naturedly as he grabbed onto Spock holding him tightly as their lips met passionately.

Sarek quietly walked up behind his wife who was crying uncontrollable and overwhelmed tears of joy. As he touched her hand, his thoughts were conveyed to her and she embraced him gratefully. "Son?" he asked.

Spock and Leonard broke their kiss and Spock looked up at his father. "I do not care that you do not approve. I am marrying Leonard and I am very happy. If you do not value my happiness then I have no reason to value yours."

"Son, you make a logical point. However, I was going to say that I was wrong before. I did not feel that your love was genuine at first, but you have saved his life by going after him and you have defied me to do so. Now since you have had the sense and courage to tell the truth about your relationship, I believe it is a very wise choice to marry Leonard. He went through a lot for your sake, proving that he truly loves you. My sincerest apologies to you both," the Ambassador said humbly.

"Thank you, Father."

"Apology accepted. Just don't be so hard on him in the future; he knows what he's doing."

"Indeed he does."

Spock inspected the plastic loop on his love's ring finger. "I will buy you a real engagement ring, if you wish."

"We can get fancy wedding rings. But for now, this one's perfect." Bones went in for another kiss which went on for far longer than the first one.

Clearing his throat, Jim finally said, "Okay, guys, I think that's enough… Get a room!"

And they did just that.

**Hope you liked that! **

**I'm gonna be on vacation so I won't be able to get the next and (probably) final chapter up for a few days! But don't worry, it will be written! **

**Review please? :)**


	8. Lengthy Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Leonard H. McCoy, do you take Spock of Vulcan to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Spock of Vulcan, do you take Leonard H. McCoy to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Good. I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom," smiled Captain Kirk as finished marrying his two best friends.

The audience, which consisted of Spock's family and some of the Enterprise crew, clapped and cheered as they kissed. Sarek was quite content with his son's choice of mate and Amanda had never been happier as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Even Jim had to admit that he was a little misty-eyed.

The doctor looked down at his fancy new wedding ring. "You know, honey, I love this ring but I kinda miss my old plastic water bottle one."

When it came time for cake, Spock took the knife and carefully carved out a perfect slice which he promptly shoved into his husbands face. "I believe you would classify that as payback," he smirked.

Leonard smiled playfully as gathered the cake stuck to his face into his fist. "You green blooded bastard!" He smeared the cake all over the Vulcan's face and the guests gasped.

Spock simply licked it off of his lips and said, "You were correct, Leonard. It is very good cake."

After an unforgettable honeymoon on Vulcan, Leonard and Spock had to return to the Enterprise where the news of their sudden and unexpected marriage had already spread like wildfire. But another piece of gossip was also circulating around the ship and it was regarding a certain Doctor Joel Winson.

"Hey, Spock, Bones; did you hear about Joel?" Jim asked as he caught up to the newly-weds on their way to the bridge one morning.

Both stiffened uncomfortably at the mention of the name. "No," Bones replied gruffly. "But I sure as hell hope you're gonna tell me he fell out the airlock."

"Not quite. Turns out his doctorate degree was a fake so obviously Starfleet had to fire him from the science team, but now he's working for the cleaning crew, scrubbing toilets and doing our laundry!" Jim told them gleefully.

"Fascinating."

"Karma's a bitch, eh, Spock?" McCoy grinned as he Vulcan-kissed his hubby.

"Indeed."

"He's gonna transfer to another ship. Here everyone hates him for what he did to you and because they all know he was lying about being a scientist," explained Jim.

"I look forward to his transfer," said Spock.

"Me too. I hope he gets put on some clunky old freighter," scowled the doctor.

"That would be nice," agreed Jim.

"Speak of the devil…" grumbled Bones, for as they turned the corner, there was Joel Winson, scrubbing the floor where someone had spilled their coffee.

He looked up from his janitorial duties jumped when he saw his ex. "Spock!" he cried.

"Joel," Spock coldly acknowledged.

Joel got on his knees. "Look, Spock, I'm really sorry! I was stupid and I lied and I messed up! I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go! I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot! Please, give me another chance! I promise I'll do better this time and I'll never leave you ever again!" he pleaded, looking like the most pathetic and desperate man any of them had ever seen.

Spock glared at Joel for a few seconds, choosing his words very carefully. "Go to hell," he stated simply.

Jim and Bones smiled. "You tell him, sweetheart!" said the doctor as he grabbed Spock and pulled him into a human kiss which was enthusiastically returned.

Joel's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped with shock and horror. He stuttered nonsense as all words were lost on him. His eyes wandered to their left hands and he spotted two matching silver wedding bands.

After a good while, Leonard ended the kiss and wiped the saliva off of his chin. "Well come on, Spock, my dear, let's go to work." The two clasped hands and started to walk off towards the bridge. McCoy stopped and turned back. Joel was still in shock. "Oh, and Joel," he added, "I hope you're on laundry duty because my husband and I are going to need our sheets washed." Spock blushed emerald and Leonard led them away without another glance at the pitiful janitor.

When they were gone, Joel groaned and defeatedly rested his head against the cold metal wall. "Ugh. I need to get off of this ship!" he complained. And suddenly falling out the airlock didn't seem like such a bad thing after all.

**The End!**

**Hope you all like that! **

**PS- If this were a movie I would totally cast Paul Rudd as Joel! Not that I have anything agaist Paul Rudd, it's just that one day I found myself randomly picturing him in Starfleet uniform and he looked pretty sexy... That is the origin of Joel...**


End file.
